Archive for the 'Update' Category

:: CNNGo has launched baby — maybe now I can post again

September 28, 2009
There she is.

There she is.

So, CNNGo has finally launched. After months and months of work to get it up, CNNGo is a reality.

This is also the main reason why my poor little Hong Konger blog has been so neglected. But, the cool part is if you want to read what I’m doing you can check out CNNGo to see daily posts by yours truly.

MEGA Junk Hong Kong Party 2009 Recap ::

June 7, 2009

Mega Junk Hong Kong 2009 Recap



And this.


And one more for the road.


7.7.09: So the Mega Junk party was fun, and I did barely survive. 10 boats and about 460 people sailed out to some remote, random beach. People drank, people swam in the bilge water and didn’t care, and people slipped and fell on their asses. There was no nudity so tears were shed in that regards. The closest to nude was a dude in a red speedo, so not quite what somebody like myself would hope for.

Booze was indeed free flowing, but food ran out quite early and that was a bit of a bummer. The crowd was great, drunken and friendly. Nobody was looking to start any trouble and they were all just having fun. Will repeat next year.

Old post: That’s right, you heard me. MEGA JUNK PARTY. This is what I will be attending on Saturday. What exactly it is I’m not sure, but I sure as hell paid my 600 HK to be a part of it. How could I not with a name like Mega Junk? It was practically a requirement. Though I must confess had the name been Mega Super Extreme Awesome Junk Party I might have been even more inclined to drop a wad of dough on it.

Those of you from Hong Kong know what a Junk is, for those of you in the States, or the deep south (no they are not the same) a junk is a boat. People in HK rent these boats to venture out and to drink upon their decks. From what I gather about the Mega Junk party is that a crap load of people get a bunch of junks (junks hold 15 to 25 people on average), take them out somewhere, tie them together to form one big Voltron like Mega Junk and then proceed to get shitty drunk.

Works for me.

I will know a whopping one person during this excursion and that is both good and bad. Good in the sense I’ll get to meet a good amount of new people, but bad in that I’ll meet them while probably hammered, though I’m assuming they all will be as well.

I shall attempt to make it through the day Saturday. If there is no post here on Sunday call the President and send in the Marines.

:: Blast from the past – First blog post ever

May 26, 2009

Now this is something a little out of character for this blog, but fuck it…I want to post this because I’m stuck in nostalgia land. Nostalgia Land is lovely. It isn’t really much different from disney land, except the rides are a bit shittier. Like the ride you’re about to take down memory lane with yours truly. What you are about to read is the first blog post I ever wrote, and what I wrote while on the plane flying from Cali to Shanghai for the first time back in Jan 06. I had never lived overseas, nor had I been anywhere but Cali longer than a few weeks.

So here goes…

“So I’m off to Shanghai after preparing for 3 or so months. Have I mentioned I was living at home for 3 months? On an air mattress? In my moms office? Probably numerous times. I’ve said my goodbyes to everybody, ate up all the attention I got and stored it away. Don’t worry, I’m going to need all of it over the year I’ll be gone. All the parties, going away lunches, and goodbyes were well spent.

I have 13 hours to kill. Thirteen hours, on a large plane, with not much to do, and 2 hours of battery life on my laptop. What I REALLY wanted to do was play Civilization IV, but that would cut my battery life to about 1 minute.  .

So enough of the drivel, let me get to the meat.

I’m on a plane for hours. Wait, I’ve mentioned that already. 13 hours? Yup, been there. Well, I’ve already watched a couple episodes of Southpark and The Office on my iPod, and listened to my Mandarin audio files. Wah Hua Sha Yinwin! I can still speak English! And very little Mandarin! Hurrah!

Today and last night has been strange to say the least. Leaving everything you know for a years time is a new experience for me, and it is a bit daunting. Most of that hit when I was waiting to board the plane. Just kind of sitting there in a daze, knowing I wouldn’t be seeing anybody for a very long time. It’s quite the feeling to say the least. I will say I recommend everybody experience that feeling as it is quite refreshing. You know you’re leaving it all behind, but you know it will always be there when you return, no matter what. Even if I completely bomb in Shanghai, I know I always have a family and a home, and leaving helps you appreciate that quite a bit more.

I know, I know, “But Chris you’re still on the damn plane! You haven’t even gotten there yet and you’re waxing all poetic. Suck it up you sap!”

Am I excited? Hell yes. I can’t wait to get there and get settled in. I’m still in transition as I have been for the last 3 months, and won’t feel totally at ease until I have a job, a Work Visa, and know how to ride the busses without getting lost. But that will come. Part of the fun should be figuring out how to do that.

I’m lazy, that is why I have this website. This is so I don’t have to individually email every single one of you all the time. Only the elite! And then the elite of the elite shall actually receive HANDWRITTEN LETTERS! Yes, they do still exist. You might have to dust off your mailbox and remember how to open a letter before you can read them though, so be prepared.

Leading me to my next observation: The internet is a wonderful thing is it not? Without the net I wouldn’t be embarking on this wee journey. I wouldn’t have met Li and Marie, I wouldn’t have joined that Xbox forum, I wouldn’t have made the possible job contacts I made or have been able to research all the possibilities of where to go. So thank you Al Gore for giving me this fantastic resource. I hope to use your invention for many years to come to help me move along in life.

Enough props to the internet. It’s 99% porn anyway.

I’ve just received amazing news! I have 2.58 hours of battery life left! Incredibly, my battery power seems to INCREASE the more I use it. Why that’s astounding. Modern technology oh how I love thee!

So what do I expect to see once I get off the plane? Lots of Asian people. Billions of them. So of course, I’m looking forward to being tall and playing lots of basketball. I’ve never played center and I fully look forward to having the opportunity to be a rebounding machine. Yao Ming watch the fuck out.

According to the flight path diagram, we’re just passing the Gulf of Alaska. That whole “Fly in a parabola” thing has me a bit confused.  If they let me fly this plane we would have been there by now. I wouldn’t stand for any of this “The best way to a destination is by flying in a half circle,” shit.

Strange, it appears I now have 1.58 hours of battery life left. This must be a result of my heavy rambling. Either that or it took me 1 hour to type the last 3 paragraphs. I’m confused; it must be the SOMA, AIRBORN and Heinekin quelude.

Well friends and family, it is time to conquer the world for a whopping 20 minutes (Civilization IV). I think I’ll start off as the Chinese this time.

Next post will be the rest of the flight and the arrival. I made it safe and sound, but I have stuff to do today, so I’ll get that on here a bit later.”

Wow. Memory lane. Never did write those handwritten letters. Sorry about that guys. Also I laughed at myself about the “playing lots of basketball” remark. I didn’t play lots of basketball, but when I did the Chinese were damn good and pretty damn tall. Totally dashed my hopes.

The Singapore-er ::

April 19, 2009
Clarke Quay Singapore

Clarke Quay Singapore

I left last Wednesday night for Singapore from Hong Kong and arrived at 10:30 pm after a 4 hour flight where I had the pleasure of watching Cathay’s in-flight exorcise videos, and of listening to some old fart behind me make loud “Hchhhhhaaawwwwk!” noises every few seconds lah. After landing and exiting the airport (where I saw this nifty sign for a “Prayer Room.” Who knew?), the first thing I noticed is the wall of heat. Singapore is freakin’ HOT. I loved it. My face was sweating.

Popped into a cab where the driver thought he was Speed Racer hopped up on meth, either that or he thought he was driving in Shanghai. Luckily I made it to the Swissotel Merchant Court alive, and my testicles were able to descend from their place of hiding. Because I am a filthy smoker, I asked for a room with a balcony. The good part was I got this view (Video of View). The bad part was it was facing the Clarke Quay bar area, so the room was noisy. Since I couldn’t beat the noise, I decided to hit up the bar street and check out the local scene. Turns out it was ladies night, and much mayhem was afoot. Ended up going to Attica and meeting some folks to help me party the night away.

My God in heaven…the women!

Wandering around Clarke Quay on ladies night there was one thought that kept coming to mind, “My God in heaven…the women! They’re wearing hardly anything! God bless warm weather!” Much half ball was shown (Please refer to the Talking Cock Singaporean Dictionary for Singlish lingo.)

The next day was packed with meetings, meeting lunches, and lunch meetings. Though my dinner meeting proved the most eventful. I was taken to a famous Hawker stand called Sin Huat Eating House which is known for its extremely grumpy owner and amazing seafood. Apparently the owner is self trained and has won numerous awards, so he can afford to be grumpy and do as he pleases. This was evident by his order taking technique.

Colleague, “Hello we’ll have the…”

Owner, “You’ll have the crab.”

Colleague, “Ahh yes OK, and we’ll have…”

Owner, “Scallops.”

Colleague, “Please that would be lovely.”

The owner was decked out in his finest Thursday duds (boxers, t-shirt, and black rubber boots.) Even though we were the only ones there it took 30 minutes to get the food. I hear stories that he really doesn’t give a shit and he’ll refuse to serve you if you complain about waiting. We didn’t complain.

The food finally arrived and it was a serious spread of crab, prawns, veggies, and other assorted wildlife of the sea. We ate them all with gusto and verve. Much verve. Too much gusto. I unfortunately contracted some kind of sneaky intestinal bug which stayed with me until Saturday night. The crab had his revenge…


On Friday I met with a Singaporean famous for his food reviews and couldn’t even eat anything at his favorite Japanese restaurant. Talk about embarrassing. “Uh sorry, I can’t eat because I have a bad case of the craps due to my being a real pansy.”

Needless to say my flight back to Hong Kong wasn’t the most pleasant I’ve ever had.

Great city, and I plan on returning again when I have some time, even if I can’t chew gum.

The nation that doesn’t like you chewing gum, or littering ($500 t$1000 US fines) is understandably one helluva a clean city. Granted, I didn’t get to see all that much in the short time I was afforded, but I counted all of 2 items of litter on the road during my 25 minute cab ride from the airport to my hotel. Though I did snap a pic of a bit of Graffitti which was surprising because of the harsh punishments.

Other tidbits of useful information about Singapore

  • Red lanterns hanging in KTVs or massage parlors mean you’re in for MORE than a good time
  • Mustafa is the Indian Wal Mart (I bought luggage there for $10 US)
  • Sunblock is mandatory

:: Tian Tan Buddha

April 9, 2009

The Tian Tan Buddha situated on Lantau Island in Hong Kong has one big Buddha belly.

Big Buddha says, “Oh Hai!”

Epic High Five with Tian Tan Buddha

Epic High Five with Tian Tan Buddha

Pretty sweet right? I wanted to rub his belly so, so bad. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any nooks (or crannies) to use to scramble up for the epic rub and high five. To get to the Tian Tan Buddha we had a couple of options. The first being a nice liesurly cable car ride, or for the more hardcore folks (Janet Reno look-a-likes) you can walk the entire damn way.

We chose the cable car. See those people on the stairs in that last link? We laughed. We really did. Didn’t feel bad about it either. Though I suppose they had the most “rewarding” journey to the Buddha what with all the 7-11s, Starbucks, and giftshops waiting for them at the top. Very rewarding I’m sure. “I just made a spiritual journey. I’ll take a grande mocha latte, hold the cream.”

This is me chillin on the steps to the Buddha after the strenuous cable car ride.

Oh hai! Mr. Buddha!

Oh hai! Mr. Buddha!

We may not have hiked the entire way up, but see how happy I look? There were many a folk climbing those stairs that looked absolutely miserable. I’m guessing they were the ones that made the hike. I asked one of them, but he couldn’t respond because he was out of breath. After we grew weary of the Buddha and his large “I’m better than you gaze” we hobbled down to the Po Lin Monastery right around the corner, next to the “Restaurant Toilet.” Seriously. Horrible sign placement. Anyway…Po Lin dawg! Nice place. Very chill. Monks kickin’ in back as they weren’t out and about getting their monk on. I did see some people getting their pray on, and decided to take a picture. Of course, dude with a cell phone took that moment to step in. Either way, the Tian Tan Buddha, which is the world’s largest by the way, was an impressive sight – tourist trap and all.