Archive for June, 2009

:: Hong Kong smoking ban — July 1 2009

June 30, 2009
No puffin!

No puffin!

That annoying Hong Kong smoking ban finally hits the lungs of Hong Kong on July 1, 2009. I’m shaken down to my nicotine stained bones. As a smoker, I value being able to walk out of a “pleasure establishment” reeking of tobacco. Now, after the smoking ban, non-smokers won’t stink of my Camel Lights when they exit a bar. They’ll only smell of sweat, hormones and booze.

Weak.

I’m not alone in my angst. In May, Hong Kong bar workers rallied against the ban for fear their businesses will take a serious dip.

Speaking of dips, I suppose I could always take up chewing tobacco instead.

Maybe its time to breakout the spittoons Wild West style and get to chawin’ pardner! I could just pinch a dip of chew into my lip and let that sweet flavored tobacco take me away to la la nicotine land. One dip can end up feeling like smoking 4 cigs at once (not that I’d know). I could import the stuff and make a fortune. Dip tycoon of Hong Kong is what I’ll be called. Epic.

Ok so I’m disheartened by that pesky lip cancer. But I won’t be messing with electronic cigarettes in Hong Kong because I don’t feel like going directly to jail without passing go.

I suppose I could just quit smoking. Crazy concept I know, but benefits abound with the quitting option. No more stank clothes, no more leaving the bar to take a puff, and no more chewing gum like a fiend throughout a date. Oh yes, and no more huffing and puffing walking up hills in Hong Kong.

Where to light up after the July 1, 2009 Hong Kong smoking ban

On your balcony – Light up before going out, then you have the option of brushing your teeth pre-boozy hookup, thus giving you a better chance at a boozy hookup.

In your bathroom – Don’t feel like stinking up the apartment or giving your neighbors kids an early onset of cancer by smoking on the balcony? Don’t have a balcony? Can’t afford a balcony? Take a seat on The Throne, turn on the fan and puff away.

In a corner on the street – Don’t blow smoke in the faces of people walking or standing around you. You do it even if you’re not trying to. Trust me, I unintentionally blow smoke in people’s faces on a daily basis. So find a nice, dark spot away from the rest of the group and light up to your heart’s (at least what’s left of the black, shriveled olive you now call a heart) content.

Next to a trash can – Always a favorite spot for the Hong Kong smoker because nothing says “Damn I’m cool” like chillin’ by an orange or blue trash can.

In a designated smokers area – Roped off like a herd of diseased swine, smokers can inhale love fumes in specially marked off areas designed specifically with the smoker in mind. If you didn’t stink to high heaven before, you will after.

The Hong Kong smoking ban is here to stay folks. Better get used to it.

MEGA Junk Hong Kong Party 2009 Recap ::

June 7, 2009

Mega Junk Hong Kong 2009 Recap

This.

IMG_4332

And this.

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And one more for the road.

IMG_4316

7.7.09: So the Mega Junk party was fun, and I did barely survive. 10 boats and about 460 people sailed out to some remote, random beach. People drank, people swam in the bilge water and didn’t care, and people slipped and fell on their asses. There was no nudity so tears were shed in that regards. The closest to nude was a dude in a red speedo, so not quite what somebody like myself would hope for.

Booze was indeed free flowing, but food ran out quite early and that was a bit of a bummer. The crowd was great, drunken and friendly. Nobody was looking to start any trouble and they were all just having fun. Will repeat next year.

Old post: That’s right, you heard me. MEGA JUNK PARTY. This is what I will be attending on Saturday. What exactly it is I’m not sure, but I sure as hell paid my 600 HK to be a part of it. How could I not with a name like Mega Junk? It was practically a requirement. Though I must confess had the name been Mega Super Extreme Awesome Junk Party I might have been even more inclined to drop a wad of dough on it.

Those of you from Hong Kong know what a Junk is, for those of you in the States, or the deep south (no they are not the same) a junk is a boat. People in HK rent these boats to venture out and to drink upon their decks. From what I gather about the Mega Junk party is that a crap load of people get a bunch of junks (junks hold 15 to 25 people on average), take them out somewhere, tie them together to form one big Voltron like Mega Junk and then proceed to get shitty drunk.

Works for me.

I will know a whopping one person during this excursion and that is both good and bad. Good in the sense I’ll get to meet a good amount of new people, but bad in that I’ll meet them while probably hammered, though I’m assuming they all will be as well.

I shall attempt to make it through the day Saturday. If there is no post here on Sunday call the President and send in the Marines.

Quote of the day ::

June 4, 2009

Too good not to share. This is why I like the people I work with.

CA, 3:29 PM: What are you doing tonight?

Z, 3:29 PM: CANDLELIGHT VIGIL (Tiananmen Square Anniversary vigil in Victoria Park)

CA, 3:29 PM: what time does that end?

Z, 3:30 PM: um…until Beijing apologizes?

Bravo Z, Bravo.


:: Modelizers in Hong Kong

June 1, 2009

As seen in the Webster’s dictionary the term “modelizer” is defined as follows; noun one whom chases after, follows, lusts after, or otherwise obsesses over females of the model variety in, or in proximity to, Hong Kong.

Modelize this!

Modelize this!

In my admittedly short time in Hong Kong I’ve endeavored to find out what is the reason for this model fascination. Something I have discovered is men here don’t realize many models aren’t as dumb as they’re made out to be.  Were I a beautiful woman that could get free tables  at hot clubs and booze just by being my pretty little self, I sure as hell would take advantage of that. Why not? And some of these women aren’t even models. They’re just damn hot. Fair play if you ask me. I say go for it. The models will try to wring the modelizers for every penny, to suck them dry of their traded stock cash. Try as they might,  the modelizers can afford it and they most definitely enjoy the hunt, at least what ones are left after the Great Recession hit last year.

Its almost like a symbiotic relationship. Take the modelizers out of their natural Central habitat and the models will start to over populate, roam free and start tempting the rest of us normally paid folk with their sultry poutieness, force us to open up our dusty, moth ridden, salty wallets and scrape together what’s left of our savings to take them out to Azure for a 100 HK nacho (singular, not plural).

I’d buy that nacho too. Why? Because I’m a man, and men are suckers. We can’t help it, we’re all modelizers at heart. If we weren’t there wouldn’t be sayings like, “Big girls need love too cuz.” We all need a little luv cuz, we all need a little luv.

So, even as I attempt to study and understand the modelizer and model relationships in their natural habitat, I realize I am only an observer, and any attempt to distrupt the natural balance of their dance of life would put myself in financial jeapordy. The recession has already hit the middle class men of Hong Kong hard in this regard, no reason to add one more casualty to the mix.